Dating Gone Wrong

Why is dating so impossible? Seriously, are there any NORMAL men out there? I once heard a friend of mine say something like this: If there were a room full of single, successful, handsome men and one loser... I would find the loser! YUP.. so would I. Sometimes I wonder if im wearing a sign on my back that reads: "Accepts all forms of losers, drunks, drug addicts, no license or job needed , I love mean people & please treat me like shit."

Then when you find a nice one.. or at least you think he's nice.. get him drunk ONE time and all of his demons come out and the red flags go up. But here is the funny one.. I met one that was an asshole.. we argued a few times, he pissed me off a few times... sent him on his way & told him to lose my number. A week later he calls, we go out and we have been like best friends ever since. We talked about what pissed us off about eachother.. agreed on somethings.. and now we hang out a few times a week and just laugh.. and other things! LOL... He went from being an a-hole.. to being very nice to me. I guess it was a wall that he had up? I dont know. I cant figure these guys out. Who ever said that Men were from Mars...they were certainly on to something!

Heres the other guy ive been seeing a little bit. We hang out.. have fun.. then after a week of hanging out (however, we have known eachother for a couple months) he gets scared. OK.. I can deal with that.. then out comes all this stuff about an ex-girlfreind, dealing with personal things, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.... now im not listening anymore.. His ex-girlfriend drug him through hell, etc... YEAH.. well, my ex-boyfriend wasnt a freaking stoll on the beach in Hawaii either... so get over it already. You can only blame the Ex for so much cause sometimes you need to take a look in the mirror and take some of the responsibility yourself. Anyway, (got off my train of thought).. so after we take about a week apart, then he's calling again.. he wants to see me. We hang out.. have fun.. he goes to his parents house for Thanksgiving.. comes home yesterday.. we hang out again and he gets TANKED! We were at the bar for 1 1/2 hours and he could hardly speak english & I had to help him walk to my truck!! Then my PHOBIA sets in and all I can think about is.. "oh lord.. he's gonna puke in my car.. im gonna freak out and kick his ass".. so I ask him if he's feeling ok.. "Yes, let's go to another bar".

To make that long story shorter.. he got mad cause I didnt want to meet a friend of his, he said some mean things to me in the car on the way to me dropping him off at home, he got mad cause he wanted to drive home. Im pretty sure that I had smoke coming out my ears I was so f-ing pissed off. He told me I like being in control, Im only hanging out for the "free ride", Im a drunk and all I do is drink a 12 pack 7 days a week and this is who he is.. if I dont like it then see ya later! So, who do you think was calling me an hour later? IM SO SORRY... PLEASE FORGIVE ME. (Red Flag Alert, Red Flag Alert.. been there.. not going back).

OK.. so, Im not sure that I want to talk to this guy anymore. I like the other guy, but he's not "settling down" material that I may want one day. But maybe I need to play that one out? I dont know.. im so confused. I hate dating.

Im not a controller, im not dating anyone for a "Free Ride". Im 37, have a job (although not for long.. so maybe I am looking for a free ride..lol), im very independant, know what I want, my morals and values are in check.. as well as my checkbook! Yes, I have strong feelings about things, Im passionate about things (topics of conversation).. I do what I want, when I want with whom I want (most of the time). And I know what im looking for and Im not settling for less.. that's it. Does that make me a controller? NO!

HELP! My friends have told me to go on the internet dating scene. Been there, done that.. met a few decent guys.. but im just not into that anymore.. not interested. Yes, I need to find a hobby other than drinking beer (lol).. but it's such a good hobby! My friends all want me to settle down.. find Mr. Nice guy.. etc... but I think my wall is going back up for a while. These dudes are freakin me out.

On to other things. I have nominated myself to get addresses for my 20 year high school reunion that will take place next fall. I still have contact with a lot of ppl from high school, believe it or not.. so I thought it would be fairly easy. And it has been quite easy for the most part. AND FUN! I have also gotten a bunch of them to join Facebook, which is a total trip! Im having a lot of fun with that.. and I thought it was stupid! lol.. So, everyone wanted to see eachother, so I organized a "Get Together" for tonight. Im really excited about it cause there are people coming that I havent seen in at least 10 years.. some I havent seen in 19 years. I will take plenty of pics (I never leave home with out my camera) and post some of them later.

Only 3 weeks left of work. Now that I know it's coming, it cant come soon enough. Im looking forward to having the last 2 weeks off of Dec.. but then I will go nuts. My company has been very generous with us.. gave us a pretty good severance package. So, I will be ok financially and insurance wise until April 09.

** I posted some randon pics here, and they have nothing to do with anyone that was thrown under the bus in this post**

Time to close.. have a great weekend! ~PEACE

Never too Far Away!

Yeah.. well, it's been forever and im terribly sorry! Life went and got a little crazy on me this past month. With the wedding, family stuff, men and a little partying, time tends to slip away from you. I cant believe it's almost Thanksgiving. And.. finding a computer to use these days has proven to be a little difficult as well. The computer at home is broken I understand and my coworker went and screwed me with using the computer at work.. lol... so.. I will find the time to do this more often and I will also find a computer.

So, where were we? We got our friends Bobby & Lana married off on Halloween. It was a beautiful wedding.. and a quick one. Seriously, I think it lasted about 4 minutes. It was a great party too. When I asked Lana if she was going to be the "run away" bride.. she stated "are you kidding.. im not missing this party!!". We proceeded to party until 430am.. which grandma here doesnt do too often. But not only didnt I party til 430am sat morning, I turned around and did it all over again the next night.

I went to a halloween party at my friend Jareds house. I went with the intentions of NOT drinking.. only water. But once I ran into my old high school friend, Dan Martinez.. that water quickly switched to beer! And we shut down the party at 430am! I had a great weekend with great friends, but was happy when that weekend ended! Im scheduling my liver transplant for the New Year!

Guess whos been dating? Me.. So, my friend introduced me to her coworker (we will refrain from using anyones names here). After my "marriage counseling" with my coworker one night, I met this guy out for a few beers. Im sure I was way over the top for him cause I flapped my gums the whole entire time we were at the bar. And, I was all fired up from the mediation session with the coworker... so, I was out of character! Well, maybe I wasnt.. lol.. Im loud and I talk alot when I drink beer... not too annoying but we have to remember that Paula isnt for everyone.. lol.. So, this guy and I talked a lot and had a nice time getting to know eachother. We havent been out since because I have been dating other people. Seriously, there isnt enough time in the day for everything I have going on. So, I met another guy and dated him for about 3 weeks. But that all went in the toilet cause turns out that he and I arent even close to being compatible. Were better drinking buddies and doing other things buddies! LOL....

Then I bring you to my friend Scott...oops.. it's his real name (and that's not him in the picture).. He and I met about 2 months ago at a bar that we both would hang out at once in a while. I was there alone.. he was there alone.. we were sitting one chair away from eachother and I stuck up a conversations with him. We talked a lot about life.. good things.. and then we exchanged phone numbers. He has recently made BIG life changes and was talking alot about God.. etc... and it kind of freaked me out, so I really wasnt planning on talking to him again..haha. But.. he sent me a txt the next day.. and from there we just kind of kept in contact via texting, phone calls and meeting out for a beer once in a while. Well, a week ago we were talking on the phone and decided to go out. I had a friend that was playing in a band at this bar close to my house so Scott and I joined some of my other friends for some music and beer. Guess what? We had a freakin GREAT time together.. we talked a lot.. acted like goof balls.. drank some beer.. did some shots.. danced a little bit.. It was so much fun! As a matter a fact, we had so much fun last Saturday night that we have been hanging out ever since. We talk on the phone, text eachother all day. And guess what? I really like him. I havent really liked anyone in a really long time. I meet all the assholes.. not the nice guys.. But Scott is super nice.. And generous and all the good things you want in a friend.

Well, the bomb dropped last night.. and I dont think we will hang out anymore. Turns out that there are issues to be delt with and these issues are best taken care of with out the distraction of someone else lurking around. So.. who knows what will happen? It's a little upsetting.. but that's life. I dont talk about guys. My friends know that I dont talk about guys ever. So when I started talking about how I met this great guy Scott.. my friends were like.. WOW.. he must be something if Paula's talking about him.. and now I feel stupid for talking about him cause it may not be anything after all!!! He is NOT a loser.. he is different than anyone I have ever met. He makes all the others ive dated look like complete idiot loser assholes.. he puts them to shame!!

My family and friends always say to me: "Paula, you will meet the right guy someday.. when you least expect it".. Barf-ola. If I had a freakin dollar for everytime I heard that statement.. I would be living in the Bahamas and blogging everyday. Or this one.. "Youre such a nice person.. why dont you have a boyfriend". OH.. thank you for rubbing it in my face that I have NO ONE and all my friends have someone one. For the past couple years I chose to be single.. not that dudes were bustin down my door for dates.. but I chose to be single and not put myself out there cause I was dealing with ex- boyfriend issues and taking care of Paula. So, it has taken me almost 3 years to jump on this "dating" wagon and start dating again. It's been fun.. but geez.. there are a lot of losers out there. It's hard to date this day in age.. serioulsy.. and sometimes it reminds me how much I love being single! OK enough about this already.. BORING. Im staying single and sticking to it. Besides.. you would miss out on all my crazy stories if I were to settle down! lol..

Well, it's official.. Im losing my job as of Dec 19, 2008. However, my company is being very generous with all of us (only 5 of us that are losing our jobs). If I dont find another job right away (which im hoping to) then I dont have to worry about money and insurance until April 2009.. I will be covered. So, that eases things a little. BUT.. jobs are few and far between these days.. and I cant imagine what the competition is like for the few jobs out there. UGH! I do have one possibility though.. and im sending my resume today. I have contacts in Mpls and Chicago.. so im keeping my fingers crossed. And yes, I would relocate if I had to.. it would suck, but sometimes you have to do things that suck.

Hmmmm.. trying to think here.. what else? My nephews football team got to play at the HHH Metrodome.. home of the mighty Vikings (yeah right!). that was fun to watch. My youngest niece celebrated her 5th birthday at the end of October. Hey.. how about our new President? This will certainly be interesting.. change huh?

You know it's time to close out the post when your digging for things to talk about. If it's not flowin, then it's not flowin. I would like to talk more about Scooter.. but I wont. I may have to reveal things.. and that's not happening. Were friends and I want to keep his friendship! lol.. Ive already destroyed a coworker relationship.. not that there was a whole lot to destroy.. with this blog.. lol.. I dont need to ruin a friendship that I actually care about!!

OH yeah.. The only good thing about losing my job, is that coworker and I dont have to see eachother anymore... yeay! You see.. there are silver linings in dark clouds (or however that saying goes)! lol..

Peace!