Why is dating so impossible? Seriously, are there any NORMAL men out there? I once heard a friend of mine say something like this: If there were a room full of single, successful, handsome men and one loser... I would find the loser! YUP.. so would I. Sometimes I wonder if im wearing a sign on my back that reads: "Accepts all forms of losers, drunks, drug addicts, no license or job needed , I love mean people & please treat me like shit."
Then when you find a nice one.. or at least you think he's nice.. get him drunk ONE time and all of his demons come out and the red flags go up. But here is the funny one.. I met one that was an asshole.. we argued a few times, he pissed me off a few times... sent him on his way & told him to lose my number. A week later he calls, we go out and we have been like best friends ever since. We talked about what pissed us off about eachother.. agreed on somethings.. and now we hang out a few times a week and just laugh.. and other things! LOL... He went from being an a-hole.. to being very nice to me. I guess it was a wall that he had up? I dont know. I cant figure these guys out. Who ever said that Men were from Mars...they were certainly on to something!
Heres the other guy ive been seeing a little bit. We hang out.. have fun.. then after a week of hanging out (however, we have known eachother for a couple months) he gets scared. OK.. I can deal with that.. then out comes all this stuff about an ex-girlfreind, dealing with personal things, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.... now im not listening anymore.. His ex-girlfriend drug him through hell, etc... YEAH.. well, my ex-boyfriend wasnt a freaking stoll on the beach in Hawaii either... so get over it already. You can only blame the Ex for so much cause sometimes you need to take a look in the mirror and take some of the responsibility yourself. Anyway, (got off my train of thought).. so after we take about a week apart, then he's calling again.. he wants to see me. We hang out.. have fun.. he goes to his parents house for Thanksgiving.. comes home yesterday.. we hang out again and he gets TANKED! We were at the bar for 1 1/2 hours and he could hardly speak english & I had to help him walk to my truck!! Then my PHOBIA sets in and all I can think about is.. "oh lord.. he's gonna puke in my car.. im gonna freak out and kick his ass".. so I ask him if he's feeling ok.. "Yes, let's go to another bar".
To make that long story shorter.. he got mad cause I didnt want to meet a friend of his, he said some mean things to me in the car on the way to me dropping him off at home, he got mad cause he wanted to drive home. Im pretty sure that I had smoke coming out my ears I was so f-ing pissed off. He told me I like being in control, Im only hanging out for the "free ride", Im a drunk and all I do is drink a 12 pack 7 days a week and this is who he is.. if I dont like it then see ya later! So, who do you think was calling me an hour later? IM SO SORRY... PLEASE FORGIVE ME. (Red Flag Alert, Red Flag Alert.. been there.. not going back).
OK.. so, Im not sure that I want to talk to this guy anymore. I like the other guy, but he's not "settling down" material that I may want one day. But maybe I need to play that one out? I dont know.. im so confused. I hate dating.
Im not a controller, im not dating anyone for a "Free Ride". Im 37, have a job (although not for long.. so maybe I am looking for a free ride..lol), im very independant, know what I want, my morals and values are in check.. as well as my checkbook! Yes, I have strong feelings about things, Im passionate about things (topics of conversation).. I do what I want, when I want with whom I want (most of the time). And I know what im looking for and Im not settling for less.. that's it. Does that make me a controller? NO!
HELP! My friends have told me to go on the internet dating scene. Been there, done that.. met a few decent guys.. but im just not into that anymore.. not interested. Yes, I need to find a hobby other than drinking beer (lol).. but it's such a good hobby! My friends all want me to settle down.. find Mr. Nice guy.. etc... but I think my wall is going back up for a while. These dudes are freakin me out.
On to other things. I have nominated myself to get addresses for my 20 year high school reunion that will take place next fall. I still have contact with a lot of ppl from high school, believe it or not.. so I thought it would be fairly easy. And it has been quite easy for the most part. AND FUN! I have also gotten a bunch of them to join Facebook, which is a total trip! Im having a lot of fun with that.. and I thought it was stupid! lol.. So, everyone wanted to see eachother, so I organized a "Get Together" for tonight. Im really excited about it cause there are people coming that I havent seen in at least 10 years.. some I havent seen in 19 years. I will take plenty of pics (I never leave home with out my camera) and post some of them later.
Only 3 weeks left of work. Now that I know it's coming, it cant come soon enough. Im looking forward to having the last 2 weeks off of Dec.. but then I will go nuts. My company has been very generous with us.. gave us a pretty good severance package. So, I will be ok financially and insurance wise until April 09.
** I posted some randon pics here, and they have nothing to do with anyone that was thrown under the bus in this post**
Time to close.. have a great weekend! ~PEACE